And so we wait...

It's about progress, not perfection...
What a profound statement. All I have ever wanted to be in perfect. Why? Because my heavenly Father is? Nope because I wanted to be right. There is a statement that I learned a short while ago and that is, do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? The answer for me today is both! Just kidding. No really the answer for me today is I want to be happy. Which sometimes means, I am not right at all. That is a hard pill to swallow for a person like myself. I like being right. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. It makes me feel good about me.

So, what if i am not right at all? About anything, a situation, person, place or thing. Yeah know actually it bothers me. It bothers me because I feel like at that point, how do I trust myself? Especially, if I really thought something was and well, now it isn't. How does that make any sort of sense? I think, why does God allow me to go somewhere that He knows I do not need to go? Why is it necessary for me to experience something that He knows may just hurt? Because he loves me!!!
Yeah I know, you thought the just kidding was gonna kick in. Nope not at all...because He loves me! God knows what I need and I do not. he knows what is best for me, and I do not. Why is it so important that I step into something that will cause me pain, for my growth. The growth of becoming exactly who God is forming me to be.

It is so difficult to accept that fact of life, that something painful is for my growth. God's wisdom though, is beyond my understanding. I say that a lot these days. I am in such a holding point in my life. I call it the waiting room. All I seem to be doing is waiting. Waiting for what, you may ask? For anything!!! I am an extremely active person. I am ready and willing whenever the Lord calls me to move...literally and figuratively. Being in this place that I am in is harsh. Doors open and then they shut, nothing lasts and there is a sense of sorrow that takes over. Why is this happening, I ask? Why can't there be more than what there is? I know that I was made for more. I have the gifts and talents to prove that...but why must I wait? Wait for what. The answer is simple, the Lord.

I have learned that God's timing is perfect. That when "the thing" finally shows up, it was never at a better time. I think I am anxious because I know that I know that I know that this too shall pass and that even if I think that this is wasted time, its all preparation for "the thing" that is to come.

So its so interesting, when they say progress, not perfection. That one statement makes me realize that, I have to fall and rise constantly and live in humility. I have to learn from my mistakes as well as my achievements and I have to look at it all and believe that God has a plan just for me, and that none of this time is wasted time. Years from now, when I look back, i think that what I will see is that life was moving forward, even though I felt the stillness. It was all progressing, so that I can be perfected by God's love and be brought further down the path towards His perfect will for my life.