God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference.
One of the hardest challenges that i have faced in my life is acceptance. Acceptance is so hard because for me I realize that i have no control nor power anymore...like I ever did to begin with. Basically it is a struggle and one of the hardest hurdle to jump over.
Acceptance came for me through a lot of prayer and time. A lot of God taking the reins away from my hands and allowing me to squirm a bit in my sea of uncomfortability. I wanted to be in control...let go and Let God made sense, but the application of it seemed almost impossible. How can I let go? God wants me to do my part right? I need to have my hands in it some how to make sure it turns out right, right? Wrong!!! I found through my experience that the more i put my hands in things that were not mine to meddle with the messier they seemed. The messy comes from trying to do a job that is not mine to do.
My lack of acceptance came from my fear of surrender. If I let go, nothing would come out the way I thought it should. If i let go, how would I be assured that I would get what I wanted? The answer, which I learned the hard way is this: I will never be certain that my life will turn out the way I think it will and I certainly will never always get what I want. Both very harsh realities, but I needed to hear them to move forward. When I became aware of my possible fate, I had to go and try to accept this reality. I found that acceptance was a process. I had to see that not always getting what I ask for was a gift. A gift of God's love for me, and his protection for my soul. Many things, without my wanting them to, were taken away from me. I cried, I got angry, I as frustrated...not knowing why? Why would God take these "Good" things out of my life...there was nothing wrong with them..right?
Well that is when the idea of me not knowing what is truly best for me comes in. I don't, only God in his goodness knows what I truly need to grow and what would be best for my soul. Sometimes things that seem harmless are taken out of our lives. Or we are called to step away from a seemingly harmless situation and/or person. But God seems so much more then we do. He knows exactly what is gonna bring us home to his loving arms. He knows that Satan wants to throw you off course, and so we experience many wolves in sheeps clothing.
The thing that draws us closer to acceptance and gives us the openness to say yes to God's will and no to ours is a personal prayer life. It comes down to this, if someone is a stranger to me or even only an aquaintance i will probably be weary to trust them or let them into all aspects of my life. Which is a completely valid reaction. On the other hand the closer I become to a person, the more i learn to open up and trust them with my life. Acceptance is only possible, when relationship with Christ is there. Without the relationship, it is a lot harder to accept someone walking into your house, rearranging all the furniture and then leaving. When I am in relationship with Christ I learn to accept the things I cannot change--His will for me, and ask for the courage to change what I can-- my perspective on the situation.
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
The Goal is Heaven II
Yesterday I spoke a lot a bout the standing up and speaking up and loving others back to Jesus..
But what crossed my mind this morning was the idea of the fruit of the labor.
I find that most people in this world, sometimes including myself can't to see the fruit of there labors.
Especially when you know how hard you worked, or the heart that you put into it.
It is hard to walk away and just say, God I may never see the fruit, but that is ok, I did my part it's all good.
Well that is definitely easier said then done, especially when it comes to spiritual fruit.
I find that most of the time people will not give, unless they are getting. They hoard there talents, as if they were there's, and always say, okay I will do it, how much will you pay me, what do i get out of this etc.
It is usually not something that people hand out from there own self-lessness.
The fruit of the labor to me is good if I mean to see it, but as scripture says, some sow, some reap--but it is God who makes the growth. So really you or I are merely instruments of his great love for the world. Its like this when you get a job, you are trained to sell clothes so that people find what they need and look great in them. Once you are trained you are let out to make that sale, but also make that person happy. Sometimes people come back and let you know how the dress looked at the party or the shoes felt at the event. But sometimes you hand people there bags, wish them a great day and then well you may never se them again. The bottom line, the big thing to remember is that you did your part. That is all we are called to...we are called to do what God asks of us, but what God does with the labor is for Him to know and you to not always find out.
So it's interesting when we work, especially doing God's work, what is the motivation...His Glory or Ours. Wanting to know the fruit of a situation you have labored in, I think, is a pretty natural reaction. Sooner or later God may reveal truths to you to show you why he conceals what He conceals and reveals what He reveals. I think part of it is to remind us that we are not in charge and also that we are not doing the work we do for fruit, but for and imperishable crown of Glory. Truly for the Glory of God.
But what crossed my mind this morning was the idea of the fruit of the labor.
I find that most people in this world, sometimes including myself can't to see the fruit of there labors.
Especially when you know how hard you worked, or the heart that you put into it.
It is hard to walk away and just say, God I may never see the fruit, but that is ok, I did my part it's all good.
Well that is definitely easier said then done, especially when it comes to spiritual fruit.
I find that most of the time people will not give, unless they are getting. They hoard there talents, as if they were there's, and always say, okay I will do it, how much will you pay me, what do i get out of this etc.
It is usually not something that people hand out from there own self-lessness.
The fruit of the labor to me is good if I mean to see it, but as scripture says, some sow, some reap--but it is God who makes the growth. So really you or I are merely instruments of his great love for the world. Its like this when you get a job, you are trained to sell clothes so that people find what they need and look great in them. Once you are trained you are let out to make that sale, but also make that person happy. Sometimes people come back and let you know how the dress looked at the party or the shoes felt at the event. But sometimes you hand people there bags, wish them a great day and then well you may never se them again. The bottom line, the big thing to remember is that you did your part. That is all we are called to...we are called to do what God asks of us, but what God does with the labor is for Him to know and you to not always find out.
So it's interesting when we work, especially doing God's work, what is the motivation...His Glory or Ours. Wanting to know the fruit of a situation you have labored in, I think, is a pretty natural reaction. Sooner or later God may reveal truths to you to show you why he conceals what He conceals and reveals what He reveals. I think part of it is to remind us that we are not in charge and also that we are not doing the work we do for fruit, but for and imperishable crown of Glory. Truly for the Glory of God.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
The Goal is Heaven..
The most deadly poison of our times is indifference.-- St. Maximilian Kolbe
The goal is heaven, not complacency and indifference--we need to try to act like that is where we want to go!!!
Where do we want to go? Why do we put up with so much from others? Why is it okay for us to watch the sin of the world and the world essentially fall to pieces, but it is not okay, or rather we find it hard to speak up about out faith in Christ? When I think of this concept I think of it as my dear bestest friend. If someone was making fun of her or calling her names or tarnishing her good name--would I not stand up for her no matter what the cost? Would I not fight for her or him even if it meant that the people would not like me? Would I risk my own life for the situation? These are questions that most people, if they have a dear friend, would probably answer yes to. When it comes to defending the faith, the answer is usually, well they have there opinion and i have mine--they can think how they want etc. Now although there is truth in that statement, there is also a bit of moral relativism and indiffence involved.
As a soldier for Christ, I vow to do my best to listen to his prompting through the Holy Spirit. That means, sometimes I am not suppose to sit there and just say, well everyone is entitled to there opinion. Like I said, that is true, but I feel that there are times when we need to speak truth to our brother and sisters who do not know otherwise. We are here to get to heaven--that does not mean that I act good and I get there--that means I am a follower of Christ, that means if the King commands I follow. Sometimes it is scary to speak up and I have been there as well, but as a priest said to me one time, "the Holy Spirit is working through all of us, not just you. So if you are prompted to say something to someone, God is moving in that other person as well." That really woke me up in a totally different way.
What is blowing my mind these days are the men and woman I meet who claim that they are Christians, specifically Catholic, but do not live that way at all. One thing I know for sure for myself is that I cannot live one way and act another. The more I have sat and listened to these people the more i have come to realize the holes they have in there understanding of Christ Jesus. They see all the doctrines and "rules" etc, but completely miss out on the LOVE. I was driving home one day and just thought, I want to start a revolution--its time to bring people to an understanding of TRUE LOVE. The only way I have been able to do that is by loving them exactly where they are at. Since the relationship is missing, it is the hole, then giving them the relationship is the key to bring them back to the understanding of what they have abandoned.
We love people back to Jesus. People are usually amazed at the fact that anyone single person could look at them and love them for themselves. This is our Call as Catholics...not to so much convert and stand up for our faith--but to love!!! We are called to be universal--that is what Catholic Means. It does not mean superior religion, or religion with rules--it means Universal. What is it to be Universal? For me it means, I am called to love my neighbor as myself. It means love as Christ has loved us--by dying for each other, sacrificing time for love of souls. Just listening can be a sacrifice! Some people have no one to listen to them.
That is what they need, to feel loved again. We live in a society that does not know how to love. We have taken love out of the equation of life because love requires suffering and pain and we try our best as a society to stay away from that. A lot of times you hear people talk about the "lack of love" here or there...the reality is, there is not a lack of love--there is not a proper understanding of Love...so true love is non-existent!
As for standing up for Christ, there are those moments within these loving moments to stand up for the faith. To speak truth to our brothers and sisters. That is love too. To be able to call our brothers and sisters out to holiness. Our call to as Christians is to make sure that the souls that have been entrusted in our care are held accountable as long as God has them in our paths. If anything we are called to pray for each other. As St Francis said, "Preach the Gospel always and when necessary use words."
God is calling you and I to a basic concept LOVE! I must first love God with everything I am -- so that I can be everything that he has designed for me to be. Then I must take that love and Love my neighbor the way that I long to be loved. If we know the love of God truly in our hearts, that love is simple--"We love until it hurts, and then when it hurts, we love some more." --Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
The goal is heaven, not complacency and indifference--we need to try to act like that is where we want to go!!!
Where do we want to go? Why do we put up with so much from others? Why is it okay for us to watch the sin of the world and the world essentially fall to pieces, but it is not okay, or rather we find it hard to speak up about out faith in Christ? When I think of this concept I think of it as my dear bestest friend. If someone was making fun of her or calling her names or tarnishing her good name--would I not stand up for her no matter what the cost? Would I not fight for her or him even if it meant that the people would not like me? Would I risk my own life for the situation? These are questions that most people, if they have a dear friend, would probably answer yes to. When it comes to defending the faith, the answer is usually, well they have there opinion and i have mine--they can think how they want etc. Now although there is truth in that statement, there is also a bit of moral relativism and indiffence involved.
As a soldier for Christ, I vow to do my best to listen to his prompting through the Holy Spirit. That means, sometimes I am not suppose to sit there and just say, well everyone is entitled to there opinion. Like I said, that is true, but I feel that there are times when we need to speak truth to our brother and sisters who do not know otherwise. We are here to get to heaven--that does not mean that I act good and I get there--that means I am a follower of Christ, that means if the King commands I follow. Sometimes it is scary to speak up and I have been there as well, but as a priest said to me one time, "the Holy Spirit is working through all of us, not just you. So if you are prompted to say something to someone, God is moving in that other person as well." That really woke me up in a totally different way.
What is blowing my mind these days are the men and woman I meet who claim that they are Christians, specifically Catholic, but do not live that way at all. One thing I know for sure for myself is that I cannot live one way and act another. The more I have sat and listened to these people the more i have come to realize the holes they have in there understanding of Christ Jesus. They see all the doctrines and "rules" etc, but completely miss out on the LOVE. I was driving home one day and just thought, I want to start a revolution--its time to bring people to an understanding of TRUE LOVE. The only way I have been able to do that is by loving them exactly where they are at. Since the relationship is missing, it is the hole, then giving them the relationship is the key to bring them back to the understanding of what they have abandoned.
We love people back to Jesus. People are usually amazed at the fact that anyone single person could look at them and love them for themselves. This is our Call as Catholics...not to so much convert and stand up for our faith--but to love!!! We are called to be universal--that is what Catholic Means. It does not mean superior religion, or religion with rules--it means Universal. What is it to be Universal? For me it means, I am called to love my neighbor as myself. It means love as Christ has loved us--by dying for each other, sacrificing time for love of souls. Just listening can be a sacrifice! Some people have no one to listen to them.
That is what they need, to feel loved again. We live in a society that does not know how to love. We have taken love out of the equation of life because love requires suffering and pain and we try our best as a society to stay away from that. A lot of times you hear people talk about the "lack of love" here or there...the reality is, there is not a lack of love--there is not a proper understanding of Love...so true love is non-existent!
As for standing up for Christ, there are those moments within these loving moments to stand up for the faith. To speak truth to our brothers and sisters. That is love too. To be able to call our brothers and sisters out to holiness. Our call to as Christians is to make sure that the souls that have been entrusted in our care are held accountable as long as God has them in our paths. If anything we are called to pray for each other. As St Francis said, "Preach the Gospel always and when necessary use words."
God is calling you and I to a basic concept LOVE! I must first love God with everything I am -- so that I can be everything that he has designed for me to be. Then I must take that love and Love my neighbor the way that I long to be loved. If we know the love of God truly in our hearts, that love is simple--"We love until it hurts, and then when it hurts, we love some more." --Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Just to See you Smile...
A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown
So today I walked into Starbucks and the people there greeted me with a smile. I am sort of a familiar face to them..hee hee. Anyway, there was a girl there who I had never seen before and she was the most enthusiastic of them all. I was happy to see that because I got some zeal for life myself. Well I was taken back and as she and were laughing and joking she proceeded to tell me this story.
She said one day she was working and that she greeted a customer very happily and she was then asked by the customer, if Starbucks required them to smile. Like it was part of procedure to do so. Now i heard this and it stirred something in me that has always annoyed me and that is people do not find joy in life anymore. The simplicity of life. The simple joy of living. There is no spark in people that automatically places a smile on there faces. People are shocked by joy. This is a strange concept to me.
Growing up people would ask if something was wrong with me. People would ask when I was at parties if I was drunk. No one could ever fathom that someone's heart, like mine could truly just be filled with joy. We have lost the art of living and have become robots to a apathetic society. We are only happy when we get something from someone, or a situation. True Joy is basking in joy itself. Is finding joy in the giving and not the getting.
I guess it drives me crazy that this generation coming up has lost its excitement. They are known as the "whatever generation". They are the generation that has been numbed out by gadgets and gizmos and being over stimulated too early in life. There was not a gradual progression to there wonderment. It just all snowballed and now we have kids who have seen it all and very possibly done it all before they were old enough to drive. Its funny my friend and I were talking one day and we are the same age of 31. She asked me, "in high school what was your main focus outside of school?" I said," what was gonna be on TV that weekend, guys and my friends and hanging out." She said, "yeah know, me too. It was definitely not having a baby."
I thought Amen to that. Wow, to think that instead of teaching our kids that we need to wait until you get married to have sex and then have a family and basically teach them otherwise, we give them a TV show or birth control. The interesting part is that once you have been exposed to so much too soon, nothing simple is enough. I find that as I attend school amongst students who are much younger than me. I will laugh, or see the humor or excitement in things, while they will sit there and look at me like I have two heads.
What is funny is that I am not angry or upset, but it makes me sad for them that they cannot smile for no reason and find joy in life, no matter if it is going there way or not. This generation is being taught to blame and not to take the blame. They are taught to walk away and not work it out. They are being taught that hurting and suffering are bad things that need to be avoided at all costs and that pleasure and what I want are worth all my time and energy. There is a distortion of truth here. It's no wonder Christ on the Cross is scary today--there is pain, suffering, and sacrifice on that cross...all things that are being taught to be avoided. Without truth being given to them, this society learns to be complacent and unenthusiastic. They learn to ask people if they are required to smile. They have to question true joy, because they have never really seen it before.
I feel that when I can look at myself and laugh, when I can die to myself for the Love of God, when I can look at myself and forgive myself for making mistakes--that is true JOY! When I can see my imperfection and embrace the truth in that--there is JOY. When I can look and see that other people live in this world around me and I am here to love and serve them as my brothers and sisters--TRUE JOY. When I can look at the beauty of nature and colors of fall in wonder and awe. When I can look at a baby and see how careful God was in making me...truly then, in that moment, I can experience a GREAT JOY. A joy that can only come from one source--GOD--truth itself!!
So today I walked into Starbucks and the people there greeted me with a smile. I am sort of a familiar face to them..hee hee. Anyway, there was a girl there who I had never seen before and she was the most enthusiastic of them all. I was happy to see that because I got some zeal for life myself. Well I was taken back and as she and were laughing and joking she proceeded to tell me this story.
She said one day she was working and that she greeted a customer very happily and she was then asked by the customer, if Starbucks required them to smile. Like it was part of procedure to do so. Now i heard this and it stirred something in me that has always annoyed me and that is people do not find joy in life anymore. The simplicity of life. The simple joy of living. There is no spark in people that automatically places a smile on there faces. People are shocked by joy. This is a strange concept to me.
Growing up people would ask if something was wrong with me. People would ask when I was at parties if I was drunk. No one could ever fathom that someone's heart, like mine could truly just be filled with joy. We have lost the art of living and have become robots to a apathetic society. We are only happy when we get something from someone, or a situation. True Joy is basking in joy itself. Is finding joy in the giving and not the getting.
I guess it drives me crazy that this generation coming up has lost its excitement. They are known as the "whatever generation". They are the generation that has been numbed out by gadgets and gizmos and being over stimulated too early in life. There was not a gradual progression to there wonderment. It just all snowballed and now we have kids who have seen it all and very possibly done it all before they were old enough to drive. Its funny my friend and I were talking one day and we are the same age of 31. She asked me, "in high school what was your main focus outside of school?" I said," what was gonna be on TV that weekend, guys and my friends and hanging out." She said, "yeah know, me too. It was definitely not having a baby."
I thought Amen to that. Wow, to think that instead of teaching our kids that we need to wait until you get married to have sex and then have a family and basically teach them otherwise, we give them a TV show or birth control. The interesting part is that once you have been exposed to so much too soon, nothing simple is enough. I find that as I attend school amongst students who are much younger than me. I will laugh, or see the humor or excitement in things, while they will sit there and look at me like I have two heads.
What is funny is that I am not angry or upset, but it makes me sad for them that they cannot smile for no reason and find joy in life, no matter if it is going there way or not. This generation is being taught to blame and not to take the blame. They are taught to walk away and not work it out. They are being taught that hurting and suffering are bad things that need to be avoided at all costs and that pleasure and what I want are worth all my time and energy. There is a distortion of truth here. It's no wonder Christ on the Cross is scary today--there is pain, suffering, and sacrifice on that cross...all things that are being taught to be avoided. Without truth being given to them, this society learns to be complacent and unenthusiastic. They learn to ask people if they are required to smile. They have to question true joy, because they have never really seen it before.
I feel that when I can look at myself and laugh, when I can die to myself for the Love of God, when I can look at myself and forgive myself for making mistakes--that is true JOY! When I can see my imperfection and embrace the truth in that--there is JOY. When I can look and see that other people live in this world around me and I am here to love and serve them as my brothers and sisters--TRUE JOY. When I can look at the beauty of nature and colors of fall in wonder and awe. When I can look at a baby and see how careful God was in making me...truly then, in that moment, I can experience a GREAT JOY. A joy that can only come from one source--GOD--truth itself!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I Walk the line...
You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
--Johnny Cash
I feel like I tend to walk a very different road then people in my life that I encounter day in and day out. A road that I could have ever thought up on my own but that was chosen for me as the best thing for me.
We hear it said it certain Churches, "have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?" As cliche as that line has become there is so much truth in it. That question most people freak out about. Why? Because they feel they are about to get bombarded with "Jesus Talk". Which there notion could very well be true! LOL BUt in reality it is a valid question that can be broken down to be a bit more understanding and could even stand to be more intimidating. In fact, saying, "have you accepted Jesus Christ to be your personal Lord and Savior" is putting it lightly.
When I think of that Question I think to my myself about what that is really saying. This is what I hear:
--Have you surrendered your will and life to God?
--Are you ready give up the things in your life that will lead you on the road to perdition?
--Have you learned to accept that life comes with ups and downs and that we need to accept downs as well as the ups as gifts that have so much fruit to give us?
--are you ready to embrace your cross, splinters and all so as to grow in greater love of Christ?
--Are you ready to be called to greater things and essentially "man up" when no one else will?
--are you ready to be persecuted for doing what is right?
--are you ready to truly say and live the words: He's God, I'm not
--Are you ready for the greater prize that does not exist on this Earth?
--Are you ready to live in eternity with the One who is eternity itself?
--are you ready to be loved like you never have been?
Then come to the waters of life--deny yourself and take up your cross!!
Now do you see why the first question is so much easier then the many that that first one really means.
Although something within people freaks out when they hear the name of Jesus--That name means responsibility to these people. They hear the name and just know that they are not ready to give up the self-willed life they have. They are not ready to be free from the pleasures of the sins that shackle them. They see a life with Christ as a form of slavery. I hear people say. you Catholics and all your rules. I hear that all the time. What I think is so interesting is the thought of the fact that it is my sin that keeps me shackled and a slave. It is my sin that keeps me ashamed and in fear. It is my slavery to sin that keeps me desiring a place on this earth.
It is my deep knowledge and embrace of Christ's love for me that frees me from fear. It is that love that died for me and that set me free from the dire consequence of sin--death! It is that Love that transforms me, day in and day out and guides me to truly be love to those who have never been loved.
There is no slavery in Christ, other then the slavery of me belonging completely to him and being at his eternal service. I don't necessarily call that slavery...I call that LOVE.
As I walk along this path to holiness, that is a gift, the world gets bigger, the road gets narrower and the people along the path are fewer and fewer. Why? Because this life is not easy...walking sometimes is not the problem, not even the falling down that is the hard part, the hard part is the continual stripping and transformation that happens along the road. That's the stuff that burns away who you are, to make you who are meant to become. That is what separates the men from the boys. That is day to day trials and growing in virtue that needs to take place. Oh man, this is the hard stuff....this is the stuff that if not rooted enough in God's love through a personal prayer life etc--will make you question what you are doing this all for...in some cases people leave. Of course they leave...when there is no relationship, there is no point!
I have my moments still...the "is it all worth it" moments...and it is...Its just hard to see when all the people you know who are not "living it right" so to speak, are getting everything handed to them, and I am not gonna lie, that can be frustrating when you know that the way they got it was shady, or that you know that you work hard to be the woman that God is calling you to be...but in the end..we have something that is far more reaching then this earth and this life. We know that we are loved. We don't need to spend our time reaching for perishable food. We know where to go to be fed, and we know who to go to to get fed.
Going back to what I had mentioned about the world getting bigger, but there are less people on it. That is quite a big struggle, people don't want to keep walking and so when you do say things to people they look at you like, "yeah I hear you, but I am not sure I understand." well how can you? When you are in love and you are in a relationship, how is anyone to understand what it is like unless they are on that walk too. And just because you are in a relationship does not mean you are in love either. There are many people who walk along this path to God who want nothing of the intimacy that He has to offer us. They just want the rules and what they need to do. Now think about it, if I am in a relationship like that with my friends, first of all it would be boring and second it would not last very long, because when the going got tough...I got the heck out!
I find that as I walk a long this path to holiness I will meet many people along the way who are attracted to me and want to hang out...but that actually get in the way of my moving forward.
As I walk this road, people come in and people come out. There are people who are attracted to the way you are walking, they are drawn to it and amazed by it--they just don't want to walk with you through it all. They are still way to big in there world and so the sacrifice is too great. There are the few and I say few, because it does not happen often, but there are the few who you find who just "get it". They are there to be your running buddies...they are there to cheer you on. They are there to remind you of why you are walking. They are there to support you and for you to support them. There is an equality in support because there is an equality in the goal sought. It is a beautiful gift when found. Until then the road to Our Lord is walked without many, but with He always at your side. Guiding you and urging you on. It is Love that does the urging, it is the gravity of the soul that stretches and molds us to keep moving. It is love a lone that matters. You've got a way to keep me on your side. You give me cause for love that I can't hide.
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
--Johnny Cash
I feel like I tend to walk a very different road then people in my life that I encounter day in and day out. A road that I could have ever thought up on my own but that was chosen for me as the best thing for me.
We hear it said it certain Churches, "have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior?" As cliche as that line has become there is so much truth in it. That question most people freak out about. Why? Because they feel they are about to get bombarded with "Jesus Talk". Which there notion could very well be true! LOL BUt in reality it is a valid question that can be broken down to be a bit more understanding and could even stand to be more intimidating. In fact, saying, "have you accepted Jesus Christ to be your personal Lord and Savior" is putting it lightly.
When I think of that Question I think to my myself about what that is really saying. This is what I hear:
--Have you surrendered your will and life to God?
--Are you ready give up the things in your life that will lead you on the road to perdition?
--Have you learned to accept that life comes with ups and downs and that we need to accept downs as well as the ups as gifts that have so much fruit to give us?
--are you ready to embrace your cross, splinters and all so as to grow in greater love of Christ?
--Are you ready to be called to greater things and essentially "man up" when no one else will?
--are you ready to be persecuted for doing what is right?
--are you ready to truly say and live the words: He's God, I'm not
--Are you ready for the greater prize that does not exist on this Earth?
--Are you ready to live in eternity with the One who is eternity itself?
--are you ready to be loved like you never have been?
Then come to the waters of life--deny yourself and take up your cross!!
Now do you see why the first question is so much easier then the many that that first one really means.
Although something within people freaks out when they hear the name of Jesus--That name means responsibility to these people. They hear the name and just know that they are not ready to give up the self-willed life they have. They are not ready to be free from the pleasures of the sins that shackle them. They see a life with Christ as a form of slavery. I hear people say. you Catholics and all your rules. I hear that all the time. What I think is so interesting is the thought of the fact that it is my sin that keeps me shackled and a slave. It is my sin that keeps me ashamed and in fear. It is my slavery to sin that keeps me desiring a place on this earth.
It is my deep knowledge and embrace of Christ's love for me that frees me from fear. It is that love that died for me and that set me free from the dire consequence of sin--death! It is that Love that transforms me, day in and day out and guides me to truly be love to those who have never been loved.
There is no slavery in Christ, other then the slavery of me belonging completely to him and being at his eternal service. I don't necessarily call that slavery...I call that LOVE.
As I walk along this path to holiness, that is a gift, the world gets bigger, the road gets narrower and the people along the path are fewer and fewer. Why? Because this life is not easy...walking sometimes is not the problem, not even the falling down that is the hard part, the hard part is the continual stripping and transformation that happens along the road. That's the stuff that burns away who you are, to make you who are meant to become. That is what separates the men from the boys. That is day to day trials and growing in virtue that needs to take place. Oh man, this is the hard stuff....this is the stuff that if not rooted enough in God's love through a personal prayer life etc--will make you question what you are doing this all for...in some cases people leave. Of course they leave...when there is no relationship, there is no point!
I have my moments still...the "is it all worth it" moments...and it is...Its just hard to see when all the people you know who are not "living it right" so to speak, are getting everything handed to them, and I am not gonna lie, that can be frustrating when you know that the way they got it was shady, or that you know that you work hard to be the woman that God is calling you to be...but in the end..we have something that is far more reaching then this earth and this life. We know that we are loved. We don't need to spend our time reaching for perishable food. We know where to go to be fed, and we know who to go to to get fed.
Going back to what I had mentioned about the world getting bigger, but there are less people on it. That is quite a big struggle, people don't want to keep walking and so when you do say things to people they look at you like, "yeah I hear you, but I am not sure I understand." well how can you? When you are in love and you are in a relationship, how is anyone to understand what it is like unless they are on that walk too. And just because you are in a relationship does not mean you are in love either. There are many people who walk along this path to God who want nothing of the intimacy that He has to offer us. They just want the rules and what they need to do. Now think about it, if I am in a relationship like that with my friends, first of all it would be boring and second it would not last very long, because when the going got tough...I got the heck out!
I find that as I walk a long this path to holiness I will meet many people along the way who are attracted to me and want to hang out...but that actually get in the way of my moving forward.
As I walk this road, people come in and people come out. There are people who are attracted to the way you are walking, they are drawn to it and amazed by it--they just don't want to walk with you through it all. They are still way to big in there world and so the sacrifice is too great. There are the few and I say few, because it does not happen often, but there are the few who you find who just "get it". They are there to be your running buddies...they are there to cheer you on. They are there to remind you of why you are walking. They are there to support you and for you to support them. There is an equality in support because there is an equality in the goal sought. It is a beautiful gift when found. Until then the road to Our Lord is walked without many, but with He always at your side. Guiding you and urging you on. It is Love that does the urging, it is the gravity of the soul that stretches and molds us to keep moving. It is love a lone that matters. You've got a way to keep me on your side. You give me cause for love that I can't hide.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Suffering
Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church. (Col 1:24)
Suffering, why must we do so? I mean we live in a world filled with comforts and medicines and all sorts of goods. Why must we suffer then? What is so important about us suffering? I think that we suffer so as to feel. I always think about the fact that in a long time in my life I did nothing but try to dodge suffering and by that I mean I could not embrace it. It was there, I just had a hard time accepting that I had to be the one to go through it. Why me? That was the question I asked and the question that most people ask in that situation. Why? I began reading about the lives of the saints. I love the saints because they are saints so that we know that it is possible to be as well! As i read about them I noticed that they were not void of suffering. In fact, they suffered greatly and intensely and always with a smile! Why? They realized for themselves that there suffering was not a punishment. I think that is what most of us feel when we suffer, what did i do to get here? Am I paying for something that I have done?
A punishment is something that is given for wrongs done. Suffering is pain, it’s unpleasant, but it is not necessarily given for wrong done, but rather for strength that necessary for the journey ahead.
Christ said, “to much is given much is to be expected.” This rings true in suffering. Why are the saints filled with joy at there suffering because they have been given much strength to endure it. “I can do all things in Christ who has strengthened me.” Amen. Ain’t that the truth. I know when I try to do things on my own nothing seems to work out. That is because i am trying to produce a particular outcome. The outcome being that I will not die or have to go through anymore of the suffering. The fact is we our powerless over our sufferings. The only thing that we can control is the way that we perceive it.
Suffering, if we allow it to be can and will be an asset to us. We must embrace our trials for they will be our strengths in the long run. As Christ said in Luke 24, “Was it not necessary for the son of man to suffer and die so he could enter into His glory.” That is it, the Glory; the resurrection, the hope! But before we rise, we must learn to die.
Christ must be put back on the cross so that we can remember what was done for us, that we may always be grateful and that we may long to share in the pains that Christ Himself endured for you and me.
Suffering, why must we do so? I mean we live in a world filled with comforts and medicines and all sorts of goods. Why must we suffer then? What is so important about us suffering? I think that we suffer so as to feel. I always think about the fact that in a long time in my life I did nothing but try to dodge suffering and by that I mean I could not embrace it. It was there, I just had a hard time accepting that I had to be the one to go through it. Why me? That was the question I asked and the question that most people ask in that situation. Why? I began reading about the lives of the saints. I love the saints because they are saints so that we know that it is possible to be as well! As i read about them I noticed that they were not void of suffering. In fact, they suffered greatly and intensely and always with a smile! Why? They realized for themselves that there suffering was not a punishment. I think that is what most of us feel when we suffer, what did i do to get here? Am I paying for something that I have done?
A punishment is something that is given for wrongs done. Suffering is pain, it’s unpleasant, but it is not necessarily given for wrong done, but rather for strength that necessary for the journey ahead.
Christ said, “to much is given much is to be expected.” This rings true in suffering. Why are the saints filled with joy at there suffering because they have been given much strength to endure it. “I can do all things in Christ who has strengthened me.” Amen. Ain’t that the truth. I know when I try to do things on my own nothing seems to work out. That is because i am trying to produce a particular outcome. The outcome being that I will not die or have to go through anymore of the suffering. The fact is we our powerless over our sufferings. The only thing that we can control is the way that we perceive it.
Suffering, if we allow it to be can and will be an asset to us. We must embrace our trials for they will be our strengths in the long run. As Christ said in Luke 24, “Was it not necessary for the son of man to suffer and die so he could enter into His glory.” That is it, the Glory; the resurrection, the hope! But before we rise, we must learn to die.
Christ must be put back on the cross so that we can remember what was done for us, that we may always be grateful and that we may long to share in the pains that Christ Himself endured for you and me.
Ministry
An Apostle is a chalice full of Jesus which overflows
into souls.-- Taken from "I Believe in Love"
Ministry is a gift...it is a call that only God can call us to.
It is not easy at all. Anyone who has ever been in ministry will always tell you that they were called to it. There life is surrendered and there heart humbled. Humbled that Our Lord would work in them. Would call them to greater holiness by completely forgetting themselves in the service of others. That is ministry. It is awesome that people think that you did a great job, but you did not do a great job you were obedient to Christ who lives and breathes within you. HE DID A GREAT JOB...HE IS AWESOME...YOU MY FRIENDS ARE WILLING. That is true ministry and service.
Like Saint Paul says, “it is not longer I, but Christ that lives in me.” That means that if he lives in you...He acts in you! And if he acts in you, then that is in all areas of your life, not just the areas you let him. You guys want to do service, you guys want to do ministry--start in your homes, circle of friends, in your relationships. Allow Christ to act through the Eucharist you receive on Sundays. That is your fuel for the journey of your week. His words in scripture, words of encouragement when Satan tries to tell us we can’t, prayer is us pouring our hearts out to the one that knows our heart!
Ministry is the overflow of that relationship with God to others. If that relationship is not there, it cannot be given to others either.
Work on the relationship with Jesus and see what overflow comes. Allow him to walk with you through the trials of your life, the fire of his love will be what burns off all the impurities and leaves you with exactly what you will need...It is all gift...all of it!! Nothing is a mistake. And when God allows someone else to do something and not you, be grateful--that is a gift as well--the gift of humilty. The gift of humility comes to our lives to draw us closer to Christ...when we are humbled by a disapointment or people in our lives, our Lord is saying, “Come closer to me and rest your head upon my Sacred Heart.” He longs for you--Give him everything--so that he can give you everything!!!
into souls.-- Taken from "I Believe in Love"
Ministry is a gift...it is a call that only God can call us to.
It is not easy at all. Anyone who has ever been in ministry will always tell you that they were called to it. There life is surrendered and there heart humbled. Humbled that Our Lord would work in them. Would call them to greater holiness by completely forgetting themselves in the service of others. That is ministry. It is awesome that people think that you did a great job, but you did not do a great job you were obedient to Christ who lives and breathes within you. HE DID A GREAT JOB...HE IS AWESOME...YOU MY FRIENDS ARE WILLING. That is true ministry and service.
Like Saint Paul says, “it is not longer I, but Christ that lives in me.” That means that if he lives in you...He acts in you! And if he acts in you, then that is in all areas of your life, not just the areas you let him. You guys want to do service, you guys want to do ministry--start in your homes, circle of friends, in your relationships. Allow Christ to act through the Eucharist you receive on Sundays. That is your fuel for the journey of your week. His words in scripture, words of encouragement when Satan tries to tell us we can’t, prayer is us pouring our hearts out to the one that knows our heart!
Ministry is the overflow of that relationship with God to others. If that relationship is not there, it cannot be given to others either.
Work on the relationship with Jesus and see what overflow comes. Allow him to walk with you through the trials of your life, the fire of his love will be what burns off all the impurities and leaves you with exactly what you will need...It is all gift...all of it!! Nothing is a mistake. And when God allows someone else to do something and not you, be grateful--that is a gift as well--the gift of humilty. The gift of humility comes to our lives to draw us closer to Christ...when we are humbled by a disapointment or people in our lives, our Lord is saying, “Come closer to me and rest your head upon my Sacred Heart.” He longs for you--Give him everything--so that he can give you everything!!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Where is the Love?
"..All you need is love.."
So I am noticing a great big trend in society as I roam this great big earth...people are just not happy!!!
I am not really sure I understand at all, and yet I at the same time I understand completely. I was at the bookstore today and I was going to check out in line. There was a woman that seemed to be in front of me and since there were multiple cashiers i could not be sure. Well so i asked her if she was in line and she said umm...yes i am, and when the cashier said next person in line I said, oh well it is you, pointing to the woman, and then the cashier said, oh no it is you, looking at me. Then i said, no i think this woman was before me and the cashier stated again, no ma'am it is you.
So as I went to the register and was checking out the other woman, whom I was not really sure was in line or not passed behind me. I smiled to myself thinking, yeah know, I think that lady just may leave some parting words for the woman behind the register. Well as I smiled to myself she was at the exit door, turned around and said and I quote, "smile all you want, but I was next in line." What? What was that? I looked at the lady at the register and just said, ummm, i am not sure what just happened. She explained to me that I was really next etc. Then I said, wow, some people have to comment on everything. She responded by saying, well some people are just miserable and unhappy.
This made me sad. Sad to think that millions and millions of people are walking around this great big earth completely miserable. There is so much amazingness and beauty in this life. There is so many joys to be had. So why are people so miserable? BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO BE. Now maybe that is a bold statement to make because essentially i don't know where people are coming from and what people have been through, but i do know where i have come from and what I have been through and what I have come to find is that if I live in the problem I remain a victim. If I live in solution I can live in the freedom of God's will for me and my life in the present moment, where grace can only be found.
People manufacture there own misery all day and night. Now I am not speaking of those who have serious psychological problems. I am speaking of people who feel the need to make everyone else's life miserable because there life is not going as they PLANNED it would. Oh ok, so now we see the real misery of life, unmet expectations!
I have heard it said that an expectation is a premeditated resentment. Simply put, i think. So when someone does not meet my needs the way I think they should then they are officially not a good friend, they have wronged me, they have treated me unfairly etc. Is it that they wronged me, or that I expected something out of them that they could never meet in the first place. Gosh I use to do that so much. Expect the world from everyone and everything, and then play the victim when my world fell apart and they fell short of what I expected from them.
It's interesting to see today in life that, this life is not forever nor is it meant to be for myself. This life is meant to be a means to get to our true home, heaven. The cool part is that God is so awesome that He wants us to help each other get there as well. We must love each other to heaven. How do we do that? We simply love. We can't do a lot of that when we remain miserable. We need to look at our stuff, the stuff that weighs us down (our brokenness, hurts, pains etc.) and start walking through it. This is the stuff that builds stamina in each and every one us. God did not give us this stuff so that we can remain in it, and be miserable. He gave us this stuff so that we can run to him and ask him to use it to transform us into whatever He longs for us to be. He needs to burn all the impurities off through the fire of His love so that we can become vessels of His love and channels of His grace. If we do not allow ourselves to be emptied of this stuff, there can be no room for God, who is LOVE HIMSELF.
It's awesome because once we have experienced God's love through the trial we have been given to face, God then allows us the opportunity to love others afflicted with the same pain. And the more we give out what we have been given, we in turn get to keep. So essentially, we are truly called to love each other so as to heal each other and draw each other closer to Christ.
So I am noticing a great big trend in society as I roam this great big earth...people are just not happy!!!
I am not really sure I understand at all, and yet I at the same time I understand completely. I was at the bookstore today and I was going to check out in line. There was a woman that seemed to be in front of me and since there were multiple cashiers i could not be sure. Well so i asked her if she was in line and she said umm...yes i am, and when the cashier said next person in line I said, oh well it is you, pointing to the woman, and then the cashier said, oh no it is you, looking at me. Then i said, no i think this woman was before me and the cashier stated again, no ma'am it is you.
So as I went to the register and was checking out the other woman, whom I was not really sure was in line or not passed behind me. I smiled to myself thinking, yeah know, I think that lady just may leave some parting words for the woman behind the register. Well as I smiled to myself she was at the exit door, turned around and said and I quote, "smile all you want, but I was next in line." What? What was that? I looked at the lady at the register and just said, ummm, i am not sure what just happened. She explained to me that I was really next etc. Then I said, wow, some people have to comment on everything. She responded by saying, well some people are just miserable and unhappy.
This made me sad. Sad to think that millions and millions of people are walking around this great big earth completely miserable. There is so much amazingness and beauty in this life. There is so many joys to be had. So why are people so miserable? BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO BE. Now maybe that is a bold statement to make because essentially i don't know where people are coming from and what people have been through, but i do know where i have come from and what I have been through and what I have come to find is that if I live in the problem I remain a victim. If I live in solution I can live in the freedom of God's will for me and my life in the present moment, where grace can only be found.
People manufacture there own misery all day and night. Now I am not speaking of those who have serious psychological problems. I am speaking of people who feel the need to make everyone else's life miserable because there life is not going as they PLANNED it would. Oh ok, so now we see the real misery of life, unmet expectations!
I have heard it said that an expectation is a premeditated resentment. Simply put, i think. So when someone does not meet my needs the way I think they should then they are officially not a good friend, they have wronged me, they have treated me unfairly etc. Is it that they wronged me, or that I expected something out of them that they could never meet in the first place. Gosh I use to do that so much. Expect the world from everyone and everything, and then play the victim when my world fell apart and they fell short of what I expected from them.
It's interesting to see today in life that, this life is not forever nor is it meant to be for myself. This life is meant to be a means to get to our true home, heaven. The cool part is that God is so awesome that He wants us to help each other get there as well. We must love each other to heaven. How do we do that? We simply love. We can't do a lot of that when we remain miserable. We need to look at our stuff, the stuff that weighs us down (our brokenness, hurts, pains etc.) and start walking through it. This is the stuff that builds stamina in each and every one us. God did not give us this stuff so that we can remain in it, and be miserable. He gave us this stuff so that we can run to him and ask him to use it to transform us into whatever He longs for us to be. He needs to burn all the impurities off through the fire of His love so that we can become vessels of His love and channels of His grace. If we do not allow ourselves to be emptied of this stuff, there can be no room for God, who is LOVE HIMSELF.
It's awesome because once we have experienced God's love through the trial we have been given to face, God then allows us the opportunity to love others afflicted with the same pain. And the more we give out what we have been given, we in turn get to keep. So essentially, we are truly called to love each other so as to heal each other and draw each other closer to Christ.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
And so we wait...
It's about progress, not perfection...
What a profound statement. All I have ever wanted to be in perfect. Why? Because my heavenly Father is? Nope because I wanted to be right. There is a statement that I learned a short while ago and that is, do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? The answer for me today is both! Just kidding. No really the answer for me today is I want to be happy. Which sometimes means, I am not right at all. That is a hard pill to swallow for a person like myself. I like being right. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. It makes me feel good about me.
So, what if i am not right at all? About anything, a situation, person, place or thing. Yeah know actually it bothers me. It bothers me because I feel like at that point, how do I trust myself? Especially, if I really thought something was and well, now it isn't. How does that make any sort of sense? I think, why does God allow me to go somewhere that He knows I do not need to go? Why is it necessary for me to experience something that He knows may just hurt? Because he loves me!!!
Yeah I know, you thought the just kidding was gonna kick in. Nope not at all...because He loves me! God knows what I need and I do not. he knows what is best for me, and I do not. Why is it so important that I step into something that will cause me pain, for my growth. The growth of becoming exactly who God is forming me to be.
It is so difficult to accept that fact of life, that something painful is for my growth. God's wisdom though, is beyond my understanding. I say that a lot these days. I am in such a holding point in my life. I call it the waiting room. All I seem to be doing is waiting. Waiting for what, you may ask? For anything!!! I am an extremely active person. I am ready and willing whenever the Lord calls me to move...literally and figuratively. Being in this place that I am in is harsh. Doors open and then they shut, nothing lasts and there is a sense of sorrow that takes over. Why is this happening, I ask? Why can't there be more than what there is? I know that I was made for more. I have the gifts and talents to prove that...but why must I wait? Wait for what. The answer is simple, the Lord.
I have learned that God's timing is perfect. That when "the thing" finally shows up, it was never at a better time. I think I am anxious because I know that I know that I know that this too shall pass and that even if I think that this is wasted time, its all preparation for "the thing" that is to come.
So its so interesting, when they say progress, not perfection. That one statement makes me realize that, I have to fall and rise constantly and live in humility. I have to learn from my mistakes as well as my achievements and I have to look at it all and believe that God has a plan just for me, and that none of this time is wasted time. Years from now, when I look back, i think that what I will see is that life was moving forward, even though I felt the stillness. It was all progressing, so that I can be perfected by God's love and be brought further down the path towards His perfect will for my life.
What a profound statement. All I have ever wanted to be in perfect. Why? Because my heavenly Father is? Nope because I wanted to be right. There is a statement that I learned a short while ago and that is, do I want to be right or do I want to be happy? The answer for me today is both! Just kidding. No really the answer for me today is I want to be happy. Which sometimes means, I am not right at all. That is a hard pill to swallow for a person like myself. I like being right. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. It makes me feel good about me.
So, what if i am not right at all? About anything, a situation, person, place or thing. Yeah know actually it bothers me. It bothers me because I feel like at that point, how do I trust myself? Especially, if I really thought something was and well, now it isn't. How does that make any sort of sense? I think, why does God allow me to go somewhere that He knows I do not need to go? Why is it necessary for me to experience something that He knows may just hurt? Because he loves me!!!
Yeah I know, you thought the just kidding was gonna kick in. Nope not at all...because He loves me! God knows what I need and I do not. he knows what is best for me, and I do not. Why is it so important that I step into something that will cause me pain, for my growth. The growth of becoming exactly who God is forming me to be.
It is so difficult to accept that fact of life, that something painful is for my growth. God's wisdom though, is beyond my understanding. I say that a lot these days. I am in such a holding point in my life. I call it the waiting room. All I seem to be doing is waiting. Waiting for what, you may ask? For anything!!! I am an extremely active person. I am ready and willing whenever the Lord calls me to move...literally and figuratively. Being in this place that I am in is harsh. Doors open and then they shut, nothing lasts and there is a sense of sorrow that takes over. Why is this happening, I ask? Why can't there be more than what there is? I know that I was made for more. I have the gifts and talents to prove that...but why must I wait? Wait for what. The answer is simple, the Lord.
I have learned that God's timing is perfect. That when "the thing" finally shows up, it was never at a better time. I think I am anxious because I know that I know that I know that this too shall pass and that even if I think that this is wasted time, its all preparation for "the thing" that is to come.
So its so interesting, when they say progress, not perfection. That one statement makes me realize that, I have to fall and rise constantly and live in humility. I have to learn from my mistakes as well as my achievements and I have to look at it all and believe that God has a plan just for me, and that none of this time is wasted time. Years from now, when I look back, i think that what I will see is that life was moving forward, even though I felt the stillness. It was all progressing, so that I can be perfected by God's love and be brought further down the path towards His perfect will for my life.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
We are Hungry...
"Prayer is the encounter of God's thirst with ours."
I am hungry! A lot of people probably hear that a lot from me...hee hee..i like to eat, what can I say! I like food and good food at that. I found that in my experience a good meal can carry you and give you the energy you need to get there. How is this any different with our encounter with God? How is that different then when our Lord invites us to share in his banquet meal of the Eucharist? It is not different at all. That meal provides strength for the journey in a way that nothing else can. This food is his life given over to us so that we may become him to others in this world.
My spiritual journey did not just begin with a notion of God, but a hunger in my soul that this world could not feed me.
In fact my journey began with me about to leave my faith and pursue the world and all its glamour! I remember just being done with believing in something that I could not see and really something that I felt forced to believe. All I wanted to do was just bask in what all my friends were doing. God had other plans for me and brought into my life a person that gave me Christ himself. As I fed off of the life of Christ, nothing else was good enough anymore. I began to be fed and my life changed. My whole world changed. I wanted to serve God alone. As scripture has so beautifully put it, sometimes all we need to love is merely the to eat the scraps at the banquet table. One touch of his love and nothing else can satisfy.
I am still hungry. I am hungry for more and more or that Love! That is the gift, that His love keeps you coming back for more and always provides enough. Where do I go and what do i do to get more? Well I think that has been the biggest challenge for me in my life today. I have a prayer life and a relationship with God that is beyond my wildest dreams and yet I find that when it comes to sharing that with others around me, I am at a loss. Why you may ask? Because even though I find people to hang out with and share with, it is hard to find people who are right there with you, who, as I like to put it, "GET IT!"
It is very annoying when you meet a billion people a day and feel like the odd man out. The funny thing is i know that in my heart it does not have to be that way. That God longs for us to live in community with one another. That as he sent his apostles out two by two because he longs for us to be able to share our experiences with each other. This sharing not only confirms our faith, but provides strength for the journey as we move forward.
I feel like alot of people I have met seem to be putting a stopper on there spiritual progress. Like all of a sudden they are like ummm...no I don't know what you are talking about and honestly i'm not too interested in knowing. Or wherever they have made progress to, well they feel happy just staying there and not moving anymore. As I thought about it more today I realized that there is fear in both of those statement. Fear of knowing who we are in light of Christ and fear of what God may call us to if we give him everything. Fear of what God may show us and what God may call us to stop doing so as to draw closer to him.
So in a lot of ways when we stop our growth, we tell God to stop moving in our lives. Well that is some self-will for ya! Yeesh...it all comes down to a fear of suffering! Its gonna hurt! If I give my life over to God and surrender, it will hurt. If I let God show me who I really am, it will hurt. If I stop doing the things that I love that keep me away from him, its gonna hurt. I don't want to suffer and so I don't want to progress. I remain hungry, and begin to feed off whatever I can get my hands on. This is the life that I see so many people falling into today! We compromise because of our hunger for true love. A love that only one can give. A love that when experienced just once can fill you more deeply and fully then we can ever imagine. How do we receive that Love? We need only ask for it. God will reveal himself to you in any and every way possible! As our Lord said on the Cross "I thirst." What does he thirst for, souls! He longs for you to long for Him.
I am hungry! A lot of people probably hear that a lot from me...hee hee..i like to eat, what can I say! I like food and good food at that. I found that in my experience a good meal can carry you and give you the energy you need to get there. How is this any different with our encounter with God? How is that different then when our Lord invites us to share in his banquet meal of the Eucharist? It is not different at all. That meal provides strength for the journey in a way that nothing else can. This food is his life given over to us so that we may become him to others in this world.
My spiritual journey did not just begin with a notion of God, but a hunger in my soul that this world could not feed me.
In fact my journey began with me about to leave my faith and pursue the world and all its glamour! I remember just being done with believing in something that I could not see and really something that I felt forced to believe. All I wanted to do was just bask in what all my friends were doing. God had other plans for me and brought into my life a person that gave me Christ himself. As I fed off of the life of Christ, nothing else was good enough anymore. I began to be fed and my life changed. My whole world changed. I wanted to serve God alone. As scripture has so beautifully put it, sometimes all we need to love is merely the to eat the scraps at the banquet table. One touch of his love and nothing else can satisfy.
I am still hungry. I am hungry for more and more or that Love! That is the gift, that His love keeps you coming back for more and always provides enough. Where do I go and what do i do to get more? Well I think that has been the biggest challenge for me in my life today. I have a prayer life and a relationship with God that is beyond my wildest dreams and yet I find that when it comes to sharing that with others around me, I am at a loss. Why you may ask? Because even though I find people to hang out with and share with, it is hard to find people who are right there with you, who, as I like to put it, "GET IT!"
It is very annoying when you meet a billion people a day and feel like the odd man out. The funny thing is i know that in my heart it does not have to be that way. That God longs for us to live in community with one another. That as he sent his apostles out two by two because he longs for us to be able to share our experiences with each other. This sharing not only confirms our faith, but provides strength for the journey as we move forward.
I feel like alot of people I have met seem to be putting a stopper on there spiritual progress. Like all of a sudden they are like ummm...no I don't know what you are talking about and honestly i'm not too interested in knowing. Or wherever they have made progress to, well they feel happy just staying there and not moving anymore. As I thought about it more today I realized that there is fear in both of those statement. Fear of knowing who we are in light of Christ and fear of what God may call us to if we give him everything. Fear of what God may show us and what God may call us to stop doing so as to draw closer to him.
So in a lot of ways when we stop our growth, we tell God to stop moving in our lives. Well that is some self-will for ya! Yeesh...it all comes down to a fear of suffering! Its gonna hurt! If I give my life over to God and surrender, it will hurt. If I let God show me who I really am, it will hurt. If I stop doing the things that I love that keep me away from him, its gonna hurt. I don't want to suffer and so I don't want to progress. I remain hungry, and begin to feed off whatever I can get my hands on. This is the life that I see so many people falling into today! We compromise because of our hunger for true love. A love that only one can give. A love that when experienced just once can fill you more deeply and fully then we can ever imagine. How do we receive that Love? We need only ask for it. God will reveal himself to you in any and every way possible! As our Lord said on the Cross "I thirst." What does he thirst for, souls! He longs for you to long for Him.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Hope
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." --Shawshank Redemption.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a half-full kind of girl. I have tried in my life to be the half-empty girl, but it never worked for me..it was never a part of my makeup. I love hope! Hope reminds me that that nothing is impossible...especially when I am living a life in accordance with God and his will for my life. What does that really mean? It means I have a relationship with God and try my best to feed that relationship through prayer and in the sacraments. That trying right there is hope. There is hope when there is a desire for more then what we have settled for in this life. I have seen so many people fall into that lie. The compromise that, if I want what I want I must succomb to what the world wants. The world, from my experience, is exciting, glamorous, pleasurable, fun, and always has instant payback. The reality behind that world is that, it is short-lived and essentially if I do not continue to live in that fashion I will be left hopeless. Why hopeless? Because all those things, the excitement, the pleasure, etc are all so fleeting and as much as there is good within them, it is not worth the compromise. The compromise of the loss of self and hope for there being something better.
I will say right now there is always hope. It is the hardest thing in the world to me to hear when people say that they have given up on one thing or person in there life. I believe too much in God's mercy and love that i cannot fathom that as far gone a person or situation has gone, there is still so much possibility for the whole thing to turn around. I believe in my heart that that is sometimes what God wants to see, our confidence in His saving power...true HOPE!
I feel that i need to say that there will people who read this and think, there are some things that are impossible and sometimes there is no hope. I have to say that yes sometimes things do not turn around and people will choose to continue to live the way that want to live or people will pass on from this life and they were not given more time on this earth. But behind that sorrow is always hope! Why? Because God never ever leaves us hanging. God's wisdom is beyond our understanding. Why he allows certain things to happen and certain things not to happen in beyond me, but what I do know is that with all the disappointments i have faced in my life, i was better off without it. Or God gave me an even greater gift behind the pain. The pain was necessary to prepare me, to strengthen me for the greater gift.
The place to understand that is acceptance. This is hard place to find yourself. I find that I want, what I want, when I want it...no ifs, ands, or buts. So when I do not get it or when something does not work out I go into the next tangible place: despair and hopelessness. Why...because it is easier to live there then to go into a scary place called surrender. Surrender is another way of saying, "yes Lord I do not mind walking around this unfamiliar dark room with no light switches...and yes Lord i will wait for you to turn the lights on in your time." Despair and hopelessness sounds so much better when you put it that way.
Although what is cool about surrender is that there is so much hope in it. There is hope because the door did not close, there is just a new leader and it is not you! Its God, and that means there is hope! Even greater hope then we can ever imagine because we are limited in what we can accomplish, He is not! He can do anything and everything and will do it if we only let Him do so. Hope does not disappoint!
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a half-full kind of girl. I have tried in my life to be the half-empty girl, but it never worked for me..it was never a part of my makeup. I love hope! Hope reminds me that that nothing is impossible...especially when I am living a life in accordance with God and his will for my life. What does that really mean? It means I have a relationship with God and try my best to feed that relationship through prayer and in the sacraments. That trying right there is hope. There is hope when there is a desire for more then what we have settled for in this life. I have seen so many people fall into that lie. The compromise that, if I want what I want I must succomb to what the world wants. The world, from my experience, is exciting, glamorous, pleasurable, fun, and always has instant payback. The reality behind that world is that, it is short-lived and essentially if I do not continue to live in that fashion I will be left hopeless. Why hopeless? Because all those things, the excitement, the pleasure, etc are all so fleeting and as much as there is good within them, it is not worth the compromise. The compromise of the loss of self and hope for there being something better.
I will say right now there is always hope. It is the hardest thing in the world to me to hear when people say that they have given up on one thing or person in there life. I believe too much in God's mercy and love that i cannot fathom that as far gone a person or situation has gone, there is still so much possibility for the whole thing to turn around. I believe in my heart that that is sometimes what God wants to see, our confidence in His saving power...true HOPE!
I feel that i need to say that there will people who read this and think, there are some things that are impossible and sometimes there is no hope. I have to say that yes sometimes things do not turn around and people will choose to continue to live the way that want to live or people will pass on from this life and they were not given more time on this earth. But behind that sorrow is always hope! Why? Because God never ever leaves us hanging. God's wisdom is beyond our understanding. Why he allows certain things to happen and certain things not to happen in beyond me, but what I do know is that with all the disappointments i have faced in my life, i was better off without it. Or God gave me an even greater gift behind the pain. The pain was necessary to prepare me, to strengthen me for the greater gift.
The place to understand that is acceptance. This is hard place to find yourself. I find that I want, what I want, when I want it...no ifs, ands, or buts. So when I do not get it or when something does not work out I go into the next tangible place: despair and hopelessness. Why...because it is easier to live there then to go into a scary place called surrender. Surrender is another way of saying, "yes Lord I do not mind walking around this unfamiliar dark room with no light switches...and yes Lord i will wait for you to turn the lights on in your time." Despair and hopelessness sounds so much better when you put it that way.
Although what is cool about surrender is that there is so much hope in it. There is hope because the door did not close, there is just a new leader and it is not you! Its God, and that means there is hope! Even greater hope then we can ever imagine because we are limited in what we can accomplish, He is not! He can do anything and everything and will do it if we only let Him do so. Hope does not disappoint!
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