The Difference..

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the hardest challenges that i have faced in my life is acceptance. Acceptance is so hard because for me I realize that i have no control nor power anymore...like I ever did to begin with. Basically it is a struggle and one of the hardest hurdle to jump over.

Acceptance came for me through a lot of prayer and time. A lot of God taking the reins away from my hands and allowing me to squirm a bit in my sea of uncomfortability. I wanted to be in control...let go and Let God made sense, but the application of it seemed almost impossible. How can I let go? God wants me to do my part right? I need to have my hands in it some how to make sure it turns out right, right? Wrong!!! I found through my experience that the more i put my hands in things that were not mine to meddle with the messier they seemed. The messy comes from trying to do a job that is not mine to do.

My lack of acceptance came from my fear of surrender. If I let go, nothing would come out the way I thought it should. If i let go, how would I be assured that I would get what I wanted? The answer, which I learned the hard way is this: I will never be certain that my life will turn out the way I think it will and I certainly will never always get what I want. Both very harsh realities, but I needed to hear them to move forward. When I became aware of my possible fate, I had to go and try to accept this reality. I found that acceptance was a process. I had to see that not always getting what I ask for was a gift. A gift of God's love for me, and his protection for my soul. Many things, without my wanting them to, were taken away from me. I cried, I got angry, I as frustrated...not knowing why? Why would God take these "Good" things out of my life...there was nothing wrong with them..right?

Well that is when the idea of me not knowing what is truly best for me comes in. I don't, only God in his goodness knows what I truly need to grow and what would be best for my soul. Sometimes things that seem harmless are taken out of our lives. Or we are called to step away from a seemingly harmless situation and/or person. But God seems so much more then we do. He knows exactly what is gonna bring us home to his loving arms. He knows that Satan wants to throw you off course, and so we experience many wolves in sheeps clothing.

The thing that draws us closer to acceptance and gives us the openness to say yes to God's will and no to ours is a personal prayer life. It comes down to this, if someone is a stranger to me or even only an aquaintance i will probably be weary to trust them or let them into all aspects of my life. Which is a completely valid reaction. On the other hand the closer I become to a person, the more i learn to open up and trust them with my life. Acceptance is only possible, when relationship with Christ is there. Without the relationship, it is a lot harder to accept someone walking into your house, rearranging all the furniture and then leaving. When I am in relationship with Christ I learn to accept the things I cannot change--His will for me, and ask for the courage to change what I can-- my perspective on the situation.

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake.